By Maynard Leon

Today is National Squirrel Appreciation Day. Here in the Granite State, there has been some effort in the state legislature, and a lot of buzz in the media,  about making it easier to shoot certain kinds of squirrels. The initiative  comes from the usual suspects. Those with phallic insecurities, gun fetishes, affinity for nihilist politics and public policy, and inclination to bullying and cruelty are well known to us.  Since everything has to be political these days, and everything political is resolved in favor of those who screech the loudest, I understand the challenge I face in contributing this essay.

Being a make love not war hippie type, I feel sorry for these people, and wish them inner peace and contentment. I could recommend a counselor, various forms of medication,  some herbal tea that might alleviate their suffering, but at some point, the squirrels may have no choice but to defend themselves, and they are resourceful.

While I write in defense of these endearing critters, I might exclude the Red Menace from this. Red squirrels are among the principal disturbers of the Peaceable Kingdom. But our brown and grey brothers and sisters?  Come on.